Today was one of those days. One where I chose to stay home instead of entering a church building. Where I didn't have to face a crowd of people even if I do love the ones that attend it. Some days are easier than others. But today I chose to put on my comfy clothes and grab my blanket, my coffee, and my bible study and went to set outside on the front porch with Jesus. It was the first real cool day of the fall season, and I loved it, despite the over casted clouds and the drizzle of rain.

One of the hardest things to do is learning to let go. As I am typing this, I feel like I have white knuckled so many things. We talk about surrender a lot but in truth no one talks about how genuinely hard it is to surrender things back to God. Especially when our flesh wants to hang on to something so badly. I am going to be completely vulnerable for a minute because this is a part of my faith journey and to let others know that they are not alone in the things they may be going through as well.

" A Little Something for ALL of us to think about and take back to the Lord in prayer"

Eventually, I’ll get back to doing videos again. But right now, I feel an urgent need to write but to speak to those of you who are so spiritually sensitive in this hour. Those who carry a prophetic gifting. Those who are feeling so many things all at once that you honestly don’t know up from down right now. I feel like I need to shout this from the rooftops, not just so you hear it, but so I hear it too:

The other day when I got up I finally felt a shifting in my spirit. I had a breakthrough! The Lord has had me in a season of rest and reset. When I say this has been one of the hardest seasons so far to be in. It definitely has been. But in this time, I have allowed myself to set with my feelings and emotions that have been bottled up for years. Feelings and emotions that I didn't allow myself to feel or even express. Some even being anger. Which is natural.

I wasn't led to openly share this word until now. It was what was given to me in service earlier in August and made the notes in my notebook:  “I Am Stirring the Waters”

This morning I heard in my spirit:“What the enemy meant for evil, God is using for His children’s good and for His glory.” (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28)

There’s a sobering truth we often overlook... every choice carries weight. Actions birth consequences. We can’t plant one thing and expect to harvest another. The Word makes it clear...“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” – Galatians 6:7

I spent years bound in religion. The last 3 to 4 years God has helped me to be set free from it and is STILL untangling me. It is always a process. Until you are set free from seeing and hearing and living a life from a place of religion vs a place of freedom in sonship in the Father as His beloved child of God than you will continue to strive, perform, control, manipulate, be offended, harbor feelings of anger or bitterness towards your brothers and sisters in Christ because they are never doing enough, you constantly seek God's approval by what you do and how much you do it.

I’ll be honest…there have been seasons where I was looking for rest in all the wrong places. I thought if I stayed busy in ministry, if I connected to the “right” people, or if I stayed aligned with the “right” church, I would feel fulfilled and at peace. But it only left me more drained, striving harder, and feeling empty inside.

Our identity is not found in ministry, in our gifts, or in the opinions of people. Those things may be part of our journey, but they do not define who we are. Only God does.

"I feel a holy stirring in my spirit today." The word Lana Vawser shared today is something the Lord has been speaking to my spirit for quite some time. She spoke on guarding your gates (eyes, ears, heart, etc.). Honestly, I find myself repenting—not just for not listening, but for not obeying sooner. I believe that’s why I’ve been so drawn to Lea DiNonno’s videos lately on YouTube. The Lord is using them as a gentle but clear reminder: we were never meant to take in so much at once.