As I was driving the sunset had caught my eye with it's colors of deep oranges and pastel pinks and purples. And as I was taking it all in and admiring the Lord's work I heard the Holy Spirit softly say , "It's time to say goodbye." "What do you mean Lord?!", I said. And then I was shown that I was coming into a season of shifting and one of great change. A new stage was being set and I had to prepare to simply drop it all and go. The Holy Spirit shown me that everything from my past from my childhood up until now I had to learn to simply let go and let Him have it. I couldn't hang on to all of those things anymore. There was no going back and there is no controlling the future. My childhood helped me to be who I am today and then the hardships from my teenage years up until recently had helped shape me and mold me in preparation for what was to come. Then God began to show me during this drive that everything was about to change. The materialistic items that held dear to my heart that had some kind of sentimental meanings to them the Lord said to let them go because these things will soon be burned up in it's time right along with the world. It all each held meaning and served it's purpose for that short period of time. Then as my heart began to ache He said let go of the one's you love. I said, "Lord! How can I let the one's I love go?!". He said, "They belong to me like you belong to me and I have plan for them like I have a plan for you and nothing can change it." He said, "Remember this is not your home and it's not their home either but you can't make them choose me." In that moment I knew that God was asking me to release everything I had ever known and loved completely over to Him. I knew that I had to say goodbye to all of it. I could see myself preparing my heart ,my mind, and getting rid of so many personal belongings and then packing a backpack that held His word, anointing oil, and just the bare essentials and preparing to go out. Then I was brought back to the sunset and the feeling of having such a short period of time to do the Lord's work. For some this sounds so crazy but for me I knew that the Lord was saying to me I had to choose Him fully over EVERYTHING. That I had to learn to let it all go. Everything I had ever known. The normalcy of life, the complacency, the traditions, all of it. He was showing me that everything I once knew is gone. Change is about to take place for all of us and He was going to take us all out of our comfort zones but that it was all going to be for His glory and for the coming of the Kingdom. The flesh side of me grieves these things but the other side knows He is right and I can not tarry. So as I share this I am learning to let it all go and give everything to Him and to prepare to Go when He calls me to Go. The coming months will be like no other. Learn to lay everything you ever have known at the feet of Jesus and prepare your minds and your hearts for the things that are about to take place. What will be will be and no matter how hard it all looks and how heart breaking it may seem He says to simply trust Him. This is my worldly goodbye. No looking back no matter how hard it will be and how much it hurts I have to love my Lord more. Then I realized....this is what picking up my cross truly meant.
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