This morning as I taught Sunday School and we went over our lesson somehow it was the first time in months I felt at peace and had some kind of joy in my heart. I knew that it was the Lord that had put it there. There was no other way I could have found it. But then I began to feel guilty for it. How can I have Peace and Joy in my heart when those around me didn't? They lost theirs the same time I did and probably think they won't ever see it again either. But I prayed... I prayed that God would somehow give that same peace and joy that I had found this morning even if it was just for a brief moment. Every year you'd always say all I want for Christmas is my family all together that as long as we were all together that was all that mattered. That us being there was always your best Christmas present of all.
You would have been so proud of Rex. He did so well picking out gifts for Charlee, the boys, and all of us and he put in so much effort and thought into things to make it special this year even though all of our hearts were broken at the fact we were missing such a big piece of the puzzle. As we prayed and Rex read the Christmas story like we have done every year somehow out of the 14 years I have heard it this time the story was different. It wasn't that it had changed. He read the same exact scriptures he always read year after year yet this time it was different. It seemed to mean even more to us. It wasn't rushed through but we just sat and soaked in it. We took it in. Every word. Somehow we became even more thankful for the meaning of family. (Not that we wasn't before) But it just meant even more. God's love filled the room.
Cala passed the presents out all I could do was picture you in your normal spot in the floor where you always sat. Smiling so big, taking pictures, laughing and just soaking it all in. I'd always have to get you to open your gifts because you loved watching everyone else first open theirs that sometimes you wouldn't even get to yours till very last. You loved spoiling each of us every year. You would have been so proud of Charlee as she sung Happy Birthday Jesus. It was so sweet. I knew you would have said good job Charlee bug, that's my girl! Even though you were not here to recieve your gift from us this year we gave it anyway. The gift of family being gathered together continuing on the best we can as we remember all the wonderful memories you left us with along with remembering the real meaning of Christmas. We love and miss you and we hope you have the best Christmas ever this year with our Savior. See you soon!
Christmas will never be the same for many families this year. Many hearts are hurting and broken. My prayer is that God will give that little bit of peace and joy to each of you too. May we all see the Christmas story a little differently this year and take the time to really soak it in.
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