Back in March of last year I remember finding myself setting in the graveyard and I wrote a blog titled Pruning & Grace. Little did I know that was just the beginning of the pruning process. I will share the link to that blog below, but I had no clue that 2024 would bring a complete unraveling of many things in my life. I have truly had to endure the season of crushing and to think that it's not even over with yet.
I have often wondered what Jesus felt like as He walked His way to calvary. I couldn't imagine the pain that He felt not only physically but internally. To know that the very people He walked with in the previous season had either screamed crucify Him or they had tucked tail and ran. The only thing Jesus was guilty of was loving them all unconditionally. I can't fathom what went through His mind in that moment, but I can understand a glimpse of it. If you haven't already gone through a time of betrayal at some point and time in your life, there will be a time that you will. And I wish I could say it is a part of the journey that is easy to get through but instead it brings you to a point where all you can do is muscle up what is left and hold on to Jesus with all that you got. Or this is from my experience at least. But, know that out of it will come very valuable lessons for yourself and for those around you that God will send you to minister to that will need the very thing that God gave you as you walked through it. He will build your character and strengthen you in areas that you were once weak in. He is a good good Father and we can trust Him even in the breaking and shaking.
At this point in my life God has brought me to a place of where it's just literally me and Him. It's a time where I have had to seek His face like never before and where He is teaching me new battle plans and strategies in how to fight in the spirit. It's a time where He is changing my alignments in every area (even when I didn't want it to) and literally taking me out of my comfort zone. He is teaching me to let go and let Him and to fully trust Him. We talk about surrender all the time but no one hardly talks about the process of doing so. It is not easy by any means. And it's something that has to be done every single day. It's not just a one and done thing. It's literally a daily choice that you have to make in learning to letting go and there are many times where you even try to pick things back up again after God has told you lay it down but then He reminds you to put that thing back down again upon the altar and let it burn. Out of respect right now I will not go into full details of what I am dealing with. I am currently walking through the fire but I know the fourth man is in it with me. And when it's all done I will have a testimony to share. I've had to keep reminding myself to stop looking back. We often get frustrated with Lot's wife in asking why she would disobey God but she was a lesson in learning to not keep looking back from where she came. Despite the wickedness of the location it was the place she had known for so long. It was her comfortability, and she was about to walk into the unknown. Was her disobedience, right? No, not by any means. But I can see why it was difficult for her and how the temptation was there. When God says lay it down or to let something or someone go we have to ask Him to help us to because our flesh just like Lot's wife wants to keep looking back. There is an old attachment that is there that needs to be broken and IN FAITH we have to keep moving forward and know that God has gone before us and has prepared the way. The provision is there, the home is there, new connections are there, that new job is there, whatever the need maybe we have trust that He has done it. We just got to walk in it.
I had a dream a couple of nights ago where the Jezebel spirit came in ( A woman) and shot and killed someone in my family but we were all gathered up like she was trying to take us all hostage and had been threatening us. When I saw this happen in front of me I began to weep but I had a whole new level of righteous anger that came up in me and I was about to rip her apart with my bare hands. Instantly in the dream I heard in my spirit the enemy is roaming around out to kill, steal, and destroy. But I knew to pray and speak out that God has come to bring abundant life, restoration, and healing. I was led to intercede over my family and over what I saw in the dream. But I feel this is what this spirit is doing for so many right now. Jezebel is out destroying marriages, families, ministries, churches, and everything else. In a vision I got not too long ago I saw many climbing on white horses with fire in their eyes getting ready to go to war. I knew this was the bride of Christ. This next remnant won't be like the first but even greater!
So if you are like me in this part of the journey just know that even though it is painful, even though things are uncertain, even though you feel like you are being sifted like wheat and purified and purged..... let Him. Learn to let go and let God. Allow Him to do the work that needs to be done within and through you and around you. Walk through the hurt and all the pain. Let it fall apart so He can put it all back together again but only this time better than it was before. Trust that He will take care of those who are trying to destroy your character, trust that He will make the enemy pay back what He has tried to take from you. Lay it all down at the Father's feet even if you have to wake up every day and release it over and over and over again. Do not allow bitterness or unforgiveness to set up in your heart and harden areas that God wants to keep soft. Count it all joy friend. Because if you are going through it than that means there is something inside of you that the enemy is trying so hard to keep you from walking into it. Your story isn't over. In fact it's just really beginning. Nothing goes wasted. Ever.
Just like Jesus pushed through to calvary with the cross upon His shoulders. Even in betrayal He had a love so deep that He held in His heart for those that laid Him upon it and drove those nails in his hands and feet. And even in the time that the enemy thought He had won God said Ha! Checkmate! It is finished! There was a plan and the enemy couldn't see the plan despite him trying to stop it. The Father knows exactly what you and I are going through and He knows exactly what we need when we need it. He wipes every tear. He has felt it and is walking with us through it. You are not alone and never will be. Hold your head up because even in the sting of betrayal He always brings beauty from ashes. He fights for you, you only need to be still and know. This to shall pass.
Blog: Pruning & Grace |©Bridget Marcus / Words | Bridget Marcus
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